This is not the end.
I posted this short phrase to my Facebook feed while watching the results of the presidential election unfold. And I still mean it. This is not the end. Yes, it's the end of the presidential race, but there is tireless work left to be done concerning what to do about it. This post was originally a completely different tone, criticizing the opposition for their lack of empathy towards those who will inevitably become affected by this outcome. But I read through my last post again, took a bit of a heavy sigh and deleted most of what I had already written for this post you are reading now. I've seen far too much already of the sensationalism of both sides. I initially wrote out of passion directly inspired by what I saw spreading through social media, as I am sure we have all experienced by now. I, like many others, was frustrated, confused, disappointed, disheartened, you name it...I found myself asking how something like this could happen. The results were just the same as you would see on anyone else's Facebook feed: a political rant that divided more than it unified. We've all seen enough of that, right? In the spirit of this blog, I desired for something different. After having a full 24 hours to let the winds die down and the dust to settle, the question I now ask myself is made less out of emotion, and more based on rationalization.
When is the end?
Is it when the Trump presidency begins on the 20th of January in D.C.? The answer, I'm happy to say, is an enormous and resounding NO. Politics aside (and trust me, that's easier said than done at this point), recently a lot of hyperbole in reaction to what the future potentially holds for us as a nation has risen from the minority to the point where suicide is a suitable option. Let's pause right there, shall we? As someone who did not vote for Trump, I can't say I'm too thrilled at the idea of his presidential leadership like I mentioned before. This is besides the point though. Listen, suicide isn't a casual affair. No matter the circumstances, if you feel that death is the more appealing option than facing the potential danger...doesn't it seem like there's a larger issue at hand? I understand, there are very real implications behind this election. None that I can reasonably say are worth taking your own life over. But to turn a blind eye and say that those who fear for a Trump presidency have absolutely nothing to worry about? That's an equally foolish statement to make. I mentioned earlier America's tendency to sensationalize their end of the spectrum. Right now, the choices are either everything is totally fine, or everything is absolutely not fine. Now, what's that word I'm fetching for all the time? Oh yeah, that's it.
MODERATION.
Like I had experienced writing the post I eventually ended up deleting, many of us are acting purely out of instinct. Liberal or conservative, we are so quick to label either side to the fullest extent of their representation. Every Trump supporter is the embodiment of hate, every dissenting opinion is a whining traitor to their own country. When is the end? When can we lay our guard down and come to a compromise in our beliefs? If you thought it would happen after the election, it pains me to say that you are sadly mistaken. My anticipation is that this ordeal won't blow over anytime in the foreseeable future. But that duration is solely dependent on by how we choose to act in the coming days and onward. We can choose to take the lazier route of stereotyping the opposition as a whole and being angry in turn, or we can choose to approach a pivotal point in American history with a level playing field, open mind, and most importantly moderation. Let us not forget, Trump hasn't even stepped foot in the oval office yet. Until he does, none of us can predict his successes or failures, and I dare you to try. The likelihood is that it will remain a mystery until time takes its course, as it normally does. But we can only wait until then. So what should you do during that time? Whether you're a winner or a loser in this election, it would do us all some good to focus on a particular concept that I feel is what makes America the greatest country in the world:
Resilience.
This is the capacity to recover from hardship and difficulty. Your ability to bend, not break. What are you made of? These are the morals that are tested during hardship, like I said last post. Though the battle may be over, the war rages on among friends, family, and loved ones. It's a debate at the most fundamental level of equitable versus inequitable. Rather than fight with each other, why not fight for a cause together? Dare I say, the cause to make America great again? There's infinite definitions for that phrase right about now. Feel free to disagree with me (which is one reason in itself that America is great), but the level of disagreement and division in our country has reached levels of critical mass. Levels that prevent progress. A house divided against itself cannot stand. I feel the greatest objective as a country should be our focus on pulling together to tackle the real issues that have seldom been discussed over the course of argument. Many lament the fact they had to take part in a so-called pitiful election cycle, but objectively this is all something much bigger. A shot at history that will be told for the rest of our existence. I watched a beautiful autumn sunset this evening, and in that moment there was no time to fret about the catastrophe occurring in the world. There was only enough time to look forward to tomorrow's sunset. What will history say about this timeline's end? The end of all this hate? That's for us to inscribe on the face of history. Do not let an election tear your beloved relationships apart or revoke your sense of citizenship to a great nation, because tomorrow is a new day.
In the end, that's the greatest thing of all.
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Thursday, November 03, 2016
The Metal
Our nation is divided.
The inhabitants of our homeland are oppressed under a tyrannous government machine. A shadow casts itself over the ruins of broken infrastructure, shattered windows, and charred vehicles. Long have the citizens cried for a hero to emerge from the shadows to save them from this reign of terror. A civil war plagues the land, tearing one body into two casts with each their own shining hero that they hope will usher in a new era of prosperity for our ailing country. One, clouded by controversy of treason covered up behind the most advanced technologies our modern day can provide. The other, accused of being power-hungry and self-absorbed, greed as their motivation. Judgement day draws nearer as the heir to the throne grows weak, his successor to be determined via congregation of the masses. What cataclysmic events could have caused such a siege on our great country? Are these the remnants of a post-apocalyptic brigade? A war-torn nation, shrouded in demise of the inevitable end of days?
No. It's the 2016 Presidental Election.
While the actual timeline may not be as dramatic, it certainly has felt that way the last year or so this debacle has been going on. And here we are, less than a week before election day, some of us still left with more questions than answers. I have purposely tried to stay silent on my blog about the hundreds of headlines and articles over both candidates, mostly due to a lack of information. It only makes sense to shut up about an issue that you know little to nothing of (right?). Perhaps a bit of it was also because I never really knew how to sum up my feelings in just a few paragraphs. Obviously there is just so much attention to detail that demands a narrower explanation for the sake of argument, so every single word counts in conveying your message. As a bit of a brief background, I have always been very committed to American politics as a whole since my freshman year when I started learning about the system and how it works. This election year being my first eligible to vote, I was understandably excited to follow along. In the primary season I was a huge Bernie supporter, then when things didn't necessarily pan out, I had to sit down and ask myself what I really want to convey with my vote.
I think I finally know what that is now.
On a tangent, I almost thought about just not voting this go round. I didn't like either candidate, and morally I couldn't bring myself to vote for, as the kids say these days, "The lesser of two evils." This thought lasted for maybe about a week. If you're reading this, and if you take anything away from this blog today, let it be this: vote. Vote. VOTE. VOTE. I don't care what personal grievances you have about vote rigging or whether or not your vote counts or that no matter the vote, your life will not be affected by it. NEWS FLASH: YES IT FUCKING WILL. Consider this: even if you're not wanting to vote for national office, there are 469 U.S. Senate seats up for reelection (including every member of the House of Representatives), not to mention the countless number of local officials, judges, ordinances, amendments, propositions, and ratification that will absolutely influence the tiny 'ol town you live in. Wanna complain about all of the things your city or state should be doing? Doesn't it seem kinda counter-intuitive to complain if you didn't vote for or against the same issue you're trying to complain about? No one wants to be that guy. Do yourself and your community a huge favor. Knowledge is power, educate yourself and VOTE.
Now that I've got that out of the way...
I feel like this entire election season, both parties have been focusing so much on the opposition that there has been little to no thought on how we will actually progress as a nation when the time comes. Politics has become so much less about the issue, and so much more so about the figurehead. Our country's tendency is to place the desires and drives we have as the people squarely on the president's shoulders. After all, they are the greatest power in the free world. But as I mentioned earlier, it's our Congress that ultimately drafts our fate. That detracts from the point, though. As far as my own political ideology goes, I am a man of reason. As I grow older, I see a more moderate political viewpoint than my more feisty teen self. I'm very conservative about some issues (i.e. having a gun for protection isn't a bad thing) and very liberal about others (i.e. my stance on abortion). The frustrating part for me in this election cycle is immediately being branded one or the other: liberal trash or conservative neo-nazism. That loops around to our lack of focus on the actual issues. Instead, your belief on one issue must mean that you side with X candidate, because they said blah blah blah...when in actuality, our viewpoint of political issues are all very unique! Not every pro-gun activist wants military grade assault rifles in the hands of all American men, women, and children. Not every pro-choice stance wants abortion to be completely legal in the third trimester up until the day of birth. It all comes back to a common middle ground: moderation.
That's what I feel is missing in American government.
Of all places to find solace or a group to look up to, one of the last places you would think of is a metal concert. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Where's this going?" Stay with me, I promise it relates. I was thinking back to something I heard at an Iron Maiden concert earlier this year, Bruce Dickinson the lead vocalist was in between songs ranting about the culture in metal. I'm paraphrasing quite a bit, but it went something along the lines of, "What I love about metal is that there are no boundaries. Man or woman, child or adult, black or white, Jewish or Muslim, you are accepted into the metal family." Coming from a group who's name is a medieval torture device, that's pretty thought provoking. Having gone to so many metal shows after that, those words have rang truer and truer to me. A common part of metal shows are the mosh pit, where senseless violence meets controlled chaos. Although bodies may slam, heads may clash, and generally nobody knows what's going on, as soon as somebody falls down and hits the ground, everybody stops, grabs a hold of their fallen mosher, and pulls them up back into the fray to continue the fight.
America needs a mosh pit.
Right now, America is a prissy pop concert, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs for the idol that is presented on stage before them. No one cares about anyone else's experience but their own, to be acknowledged or looked at or sang to or what have you. It doesn't matter whether you're voting for a president Trump, Clinton, Johnson, Stein, or Flying Spaghetti Monster; what lies at the core of this nation's inception is helping your fellow neighbor, your fellow American. I feel like the political divide during this election has weakened that value. I intentionally kept this blog as non-preachy as far as ideology goes as possible, because that's not the point I'm trying to make. What my focus is on, as it tends to be, is how we as a country will grow stronger after this election. Politics is an imperfect system, one that cannot simply be changed at the snap of a finger by the common man. What I see to be less than imperfect is the relationship that we share as human beings. I can't remember exactly where, but I heard someone on television say that it normally takes huge, sweeping change to bring the American people together. 9/11 was the last time this country put aside their differences and banded together as one nation. Now, out of context that sounds like I'm calling for another 9/11, and that is definitely not what I mean. But in the calamity, confusion, and frustration of the political mosh pit, we've just been going too hard. We need something to knock us down a peg so we can unify as one group, pull ourselves out of the wreckage and say, "Rock on."
No election result can give us that.
The inhabitants of our homeland are oppressed under a tyrannous government machine. A shadow casts itself over the ruins of broken infrastructure, shattered windows, and charred vehicles. Long have the citizens cried for a hero to emerge from the shadows to save them from this reign of terror. A civil war plagues the land, tearing one body into two casts with each their own shining hero that they hope will usher in a new era of prosperity for our ailing country. One, clouded by controversy of treason covered up behind the most advanced technologies our modern day can provide. The other, accused of being power-hungry and self-absorbed, greed as their motivation. Judgement day draws nearer as the heir to the throne grows weak, his successor to be determined via congregation of the masses. What cataclysmic events could have caused such a siege on our great country? Are these the remnants of a post-apocalyptic brigade? A war-torn nation, shrouded in demise of the inevitable end of days?
No. It's the 2016 Presidental Election.
While the actual timeline may not be as dramatic, it certainly has felt that way the last year or so this debacle has been going on. And here we are, less than a week before election day, some of us still left with more questions than answers. I have purposely tried to stay silent on my blog about the hundreds of headlines and articles over both candidates, mostly due to a lack of information. It only makes sense to shut up about an issue that you know little to nothing of (right?). Perhaps a bit of it was also because I never really knew how to sum up my feelings in just a few paragraphs. Obviously there is just so much attention to detail that demands a narrower explanation for the sake of argument, so every single word counts in conveying your message. As a bit of a brief background, I have always been very committed to American politics as a whole since my freshman year when I started learning about the system and how it works. This election year being my first eligible to vote, I was understandably excited to follow along. In the primary season I was a huge Bernie supporter, then when things didn't necessarily pan out, I had to sit down and ask myself what I really want to convey with my vote.
I think I finally know what that is now.
On a tangent, I almost thought about just not voting this go round. I didn't like either candidate, and morally I couldn't bring myself to vote for, as the kids say these days, "The lesser of two evils." This thought lasted for maybe about a week. If you're reading this, and if you take anything away from this blog today, let it be this: vote. Vote. VOTE. VOTE. I don't care what personal grievances you have about vote rigging or whether or not your vote counts or that no matter the vote, your life will not be affected by it. NEWS FLASH: YES IT FUCKING WILL. Consider this: even if you're not wanting to vote for national office, there are 469 U.S. Senate seats up for reelection (including every member of the House of Representatives), not to mention the countless number of local officials, judges, ordinances, amendments, propositions, and ratification that will absolutely influence the tiny 'ol town you live in. Wanna complain about all of the things your city or state should be doing? Doesn't it seem kinda counter-intuitive to complain if you didn't vote for or against the same issue you're trying to complain about? No one wants to be that guy. Do yourself and your community a huge favor. Knowledge is power, educate yourself and VOTE.
Now that I've got that out of the way...
I feel like this entire election season, both parties have been focusing so much on the opposition that there has been little to no thought on how we will actually progress as a nation when the time comes. Politics has become so much less about the issue, and so much more so about the figurehead. Our country's tendency is to place the desires and drives we have as the people squarely on the president's shoulders. After all, they are the greatest power in the free world. But as I mentioned earlier, it's our Congress that ultimately drafts our fate. That detracts from the point, though. As far as my own political ideology goes, I am a man of reason. As I grow older, I see a more moderate political viewpoint than my more feisty teen self. I'm very conservative about some issues (i.e. having a gun for protection isn't a bad thing) and very liberal about others (i.e. my stance on abortion). The frustrating part for me in this election cycle is immediately being branded one or the other: liberal trash or conservative neo-nazism. That loops around to our lack of focus on the actual issues. Instead, your belief on one issue must mean that you side with X candidate, because they said blah blah blah...when in actuality, our viewpoint of political issues are all very unique! Not every pro-gun activist wants military grade assault rifles in the hands of all American men, women, and children. Not every pro-choice stance wants abortion to be completely legal in the third trimester up until the day of birth. It all comes back to a common middle ground: moderation.
That's what I feel is missing in American government.
Of all places to find solace or a group to look up to, one of the last places you would think of is a metal concert. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Where's this going?" Stay with me, I promise it relates. I was thinking back to something I heard at an Iron Maiden concert earlier this year, Bruce Dickinson the lead vocalist was in between songs ranting about the culture in metal. I'm paraphrasing quite a bit, but it went something along the lines of, "What I love about metal is that there are no boundaries. Man or woman, child or adult, black or white, Jewish or Muslim, you are accepted into the metal family." Coming from a group who's name is a medieval torture device, that's pretty thought provoking. Having gone to so many metal shows after that, those words have rang truer and truer to me. A common part of metal shows are the mosh pit, where senseless violence meets controlled chaos. Although bodies may slam, heads may clash, and generally nobody knows what's going on, as soon as somebody falls down and hits the ground, everybody stops, grabs a hold of their fallen mosher, and pulls them up back into the fray to continue the fight.
America needs a mosh pit.
Right now, America is a prissy pop concert, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs for the idol that is presented on stage before them. No one cares about anyone else's experience but their own, to be acknowledged or looked at or sang to or what have you. It doesn't matter whether you're voting for a president Trump, Clinton, Johnson, Stein, or Flying Spaghetti Monster; what lies at the core of this nation's inception is helping your fellow neighbor, your fellow American. I feel like the political divide during this election has weakened that value. I intentionally kept this blog as non-preachy as far as ideology goes as possible, because that's not the point I'm trying to make. What my focus is on, as it tends to be, is how we as a country will grow stronger after this election. Politics is an imperfect system, one that cannot simply be changed at the snap of a finger by the common man. What I see to be less than imperfect is the relationship that we share as human beings. I can't remember exactly where, but I heard someone on television say that it normally takes huge, sweeping change to bring the American people together. 9/11 was the last time this country put aside their differences and banded together as one nation. Now, out of context that sounds like I'm calling for another 9/11, and that is definitely not what I mean. But in the calamity, confusion, and frustration of the political mosh pit, we've just been going too hard. We need something to knock us down a peg so we can unify as one group, pull ourselves out of the wreckage and say, "Rock on."
No election result can give us that.
Sunday, October 02, 2016
Twinkle
I'm terrible at commitment.
See for yourself. Take a look at my most recent blog posts off to the left. Notice any inconsistency over the last couple years? My blog has taken a bit more time in between posts as the years pass, and I'll be completely honest that most of it is attributed to my lack of commitment. Sorry about that, long-time readers! For those newcomers, congratulations! You got two blog posts in the span of about a week. That never happens, frankly. But this trend is also in part to the small commitment I do have in producing high quality, thought-provoking work based on past experiences that are not conveyed via humble brag. If my life can exemplify preparation of hardships for anybody else while simultaneously entertaining my readers, I feel I have successfully done what my blog initially set out to do. It's hard to match that tier of excellence on a weekly, sometimes even biweekly basis. I edit these things profusely now, rereading over the course of weeks and drafting and editing and peer-editing...this blog deserves to be beneficial for you! The fact that I get center stage for 5 minutes or so is enough for me. But this doesn't entirely make up for my unpreparedness. Those who know me know I'm often late to things, overbook from time to time, and am sometimes hard to get a hold of. Sorry isn't enough, but I suppose you could consider this as much of an apology as possible? I know it's a bit of a social faux pas, but wait, hear me out, I can explain:
These tendencies don't always exactly mean you're a bad person.
That is, I feel intent and context is always important in these kinds of situations. Have plans with somebody but you just don't feel like going and don't show? Shitty person. Have a lot of friends trying to bid for your time but have a tight schedule and overbook? Mildly justifiable. For instance, the desire to please everyone normally dominates your schedule book, trying to fit in everybody even for just an hour or two. It's no secret that it sucks having to upset people by rejecting an offer to congregate, especially when there are so many close friends that you want to maintain a strong relationship with. I've come to terms with the fact that the workload in people's lives sometimes does not allot you a time slot. It's a conundrum you have to expect so as not to unfairly hold others in content for simply living their busy lives. It also helps your own psyche in the ability and confidence to make plans. Does not spending time mean you value a relationship less? Not necessarily. There comes the magic word: intent.
What do you want out of your relationships?
Platonic or intimate, it's a common saying that the effort you put in towards something translates to reward in some capacity; you get what you give. Dedication to a craft yields success in that particular skill set. Investment into a significant other flourishes into a prosperous relationship. But is it practical to ask for the attention to be prioritized to you specifically in given scenarios? Obviously there is an existing hierarchy that prioritizes elements higher or lower than others; where the importance lies most is up for debate. I can't sit here and tell you the list goes family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, social workers, and strangers, especially when that's not even the order I would put those in personally. Just as unique as the individual, the sentimental values of our interactions vary. It's akin to cutting in line for an attraction people have camped out for days to be at. Would that really be fair to ask for exclusivity?
But you can always play devil's advocate.
What happens when you meet that person who completely and entirely shakes the foundation of how you live every day life? One who, without influence, transfixes and captivates your eye towards them? I'm sure we can think of at least one person that if fate had not ordained you with, life suddenly becomes a completely alternate reality apart from what we know in comparison. We are fortunate as social beings to have the chance to meet many influential individuals, of whom we may not know end up signifying landmark developments in our timeline. I talked last week about staying observant of the masses that pour through the gaping funnel into our lives and of the vitality in being able to pinpoint these varieties of people. Although the night sky twinkles with billions of stars (many of which are invisible), there is still one that shines brighter than the others. In darkness, there is light to salvage us from what we thought was once unknown. A beacon of dependence, guidance, and reliability. Yet, even though the brightest, this star can still coexist with all of the other stars in the galaxy. The harmony of the universe is not disturbed by the birth of a brighter star. The canvas of sky still paints a beautiful picture, so why not apply the same logic to our sphere of influence? No star is less important than the other. Why overshadow one star's beauty from another? In fact, when put together, those stars can form something even more beautiful than meets the eye.
Find a star that completes your constellation.
See for yourself. Take a look at my most recent blog posts off to the left. Notice any inconsistency over the last couple years? My blog has taken a bit more time in between posts as the years pass, and I'll be completely honest that most of it is attributed to my lack of commitment. Sorry about that, long-time readers! For those newcomers, congratulations! You got two blog posts in the span of about a week. That never happens, frankly. But this trend is also in part to the small commitment I do have in producing high quality, thought-provoking work based on past experiences that are not conveyed via humble brag. If my life can exemplify preparation of hardships for anybody else while simultaneously entertaining my readers, I feel I have successfully done what my blog initially set out to do. It's hard to match that tier of excellence on a weekly, sometimes even biweekly basis. I edit these things profusely now, rereading over the course of weeks and drafting and editing and peer-editing...this blog deserves to be beneficial for you! The fact that I get center stage for 5 minutes or so is enough for me. But this doesn't entirely make up for my unpreparedness. Those who know me know I'm often late to things, overbook from time to time, and am sometimes hard to get a hold of. Sorry isn't enough, but I suppose you could consider this as much of an apology as possible? I know it's a bit of a social faux pas, but wait, hear me out, I can explain:
These tendencies don't always exactly mean you're a bad person.
That is, I feel intent and context is always important in these kinds of situations. Have plans with somebody but you just don't feel like going and don't show? Shitty person. Have a lot of friends trying to bid for your time but have a tight schedule and overbook? Mildly justifiable. For instance, the desire to please everyone normally dominates your schedule book, trying to fit in everybody even for just an hour or two. It's no secret that it sucks having to upset people by rejecting an offer to congregate, especially when there are so many close friends that you want to maintain a strong relationship with. I've come to terms with the fact that the workload in people's lives sometimes does not allot you a time slot. It's a conundrum you have to expect so as not to unfairly hold others in content for simply living their busy lives. It also helps your own psyche in the ability and confidence to make plans. Does not spending time mean you value a relationship less? Not necessarily. There comes the magic word: intent.
What do you want out of your relationships?
Platonic or intimate, it's a common saying that the effort you put in towards something translates to reward in some capacity; you get what you give. Dedication to a craft yields success in that particular skill set. Investment into a significant other flourishes into a prosperous relationship. But is it practical to ask for the attention to be prioritized to you specifically in given scenarios? Obviously there is an existing hierarchy that prioritizes elements higher or lower than others; where the importance lies most is up for debate. I can't sit here and tell you the list goes family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, social workers, and strangers, especially when that's not even the order I would put those in personally. Just as unique as the individual, the sentimental values of our interactions vary. It's akin to cutting in line for an attraction people have camped out for days to be at. Would that really be fair to ask for exclusivity?
But you can always play devil's advocate.
What happens when you meet that person who completely and entirely shakes the foundation of how you live every day life? One who, without influence, transfixes and captivates your eye towards them? I'm sure we can think of at least one person that if fate had not ordained you with, life suddenly becomes a completely alternate reality apart from what we know in comparison. We are fortunate as social beings to have the chance to meet many influential individuals, of whom we may not know end up signifying landmark developments in our timeline. I talked last week about staying observant of the masses that pour through the gaping funnel into our lives and of the vitality in being able to pinpoint these varieties of people. Although the night sky twinkles with billions of stars (many of which are invisible), there is still one that shines brighter than the others. In darkness, there is light to salvage us from what we thought was once unknown. A beacon of dependence, guidance, and reliability. Yet, even though the brightest, this star can still coexist with all of the other stars in the galaxy. The harmony of the universe is not disturbed by the birth of a brighter star. The canvas of sky still paints a beautiful picture, so why not apply the same logic to our sphere of influence? No star is less important than the other. Why overshadow one star's beauty from another? In fact, when put together, those stars can form something even more beautiful than meets the eye.
Find a star that completes your constellation.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Then
Make sure you reach out to the ones you love.
People en masse are a revolving door into the upstate hotel that is our own lives. We will see hundreds of thousands of different human beings in our lifetime, several thousand of which we will make any sort of contact with. Even smaller yet, we maybe only have around 50 to 100 people in our lives that we considered loved ones. Of course, such a subjective term like 'loved ones' can reach the standards of many more, but I personally consider those close to me as family, close friends, some coworkers, and possibly some mentors along the way. As we grow older, it seems that the population influx of new companions tends to be very low. At that point, we're set with just about every person that would hold a significant place in our lives. This is not only a reminder to our elders to cherish those loved ones we have presently, but also to the younger generations such as mine to really value the relationships and bonds we have formed so early on in our lifespan. Just one year makes such a difference, let alone 5 or 50 or what have you. It's a reality of the changing environments and rapidly evolving world around us:
People come and go.
You never know when the last day you speak to somebody will be. What that conversation will be like. What the cause of this separation will be. Who would be the one left in confusion or anger or grief. I have lost contact with loved ones many times for one reason or another. Those I once called best friends are all but begotten, living on through memory be it positive or negative. Others live in spiritual memory, having passed on to the afterlife. It's this period of bereavement that pays the highest price on our emotions. Although rather taboo in our culture, death is a concept that we rarely seem to factor in our lives. In personal experience, it seems as if any conversation about death spurs worry in others for me, like it's a morbid fascination. The fact of the matter is: death is incredibly real. And it can happen indiscriminately. At times it seems like there can be more questions than there are answers. But is it worth the time worrying what could have been instead of the life that once was? Death is no time for such existential quandaries; instead it is a circumstance of progression from that point. Instead of, "Why is this happening to me?", it aides to focus on, "How will this affect my vision for my own life looking forward?"
But hindsight is always 20/20.
Why do we tend to take for granted the time we have with each other right now? It's an incredibly fair assumption to believe that those we are surrounded by will still be here when we wake up in the morning. It's not necessarily natural to expect an untimely death, or to foresee an argument gone awry. Our minds have difficulty charting personal growth and change from the outside looking in. I don't think I've changed a lot since 8th grade, but anybody who has known me since 8th grade knows good and well that I am nothing like back then. It's absurd to even compare the two. Since then, I have experienced radical events both awe-inspiring and cataclysmic alike. Never could I have predicted the situations I find myself in today. Even so, things don't feel all that different. That lack of difference I feel is what allows us to take advantage of our situations presently. A stasis of satisfaction, solidarity that the ones we love will surround us and join us along forever in the journey that is our lives.
Most times it doesn't work that way.
So...what am I even trying to say? Just take time to appreciate your life right now. Anything could happen in the course of a night to throttle you into a position you never anticipated. Do me a favor, go grab your phone or get on Facebook or something and tell your parents you love them, tell a friend you appreciate their support through the years, thank a teacher for inspiring you to want to be a better person. Don't wait until then, do it now. Life experiences have taught me never to expect a 'then'. By the time it comes, your window of opportunity may have already shut. There are opportunities left on the table we all wish we could have again, but these instances lessen drastically when your lens shifts focus to what culminates in your life today. While the past is important in sculpting the persona we embody, it makes no sense to long for the egg you ate yesterday when the carton still has 11 eggs. Recognize the past in preparation for the future.
Every day is a gift. Cherish it like one.
People en masse are a revolving door into the upstate hotel that is our own lives. We will see hundreds of thousands of different human beings in our lifetime, several thousand of which we will make any sort of contact with. Even smaller yet, we maybe only have around 50 to 100 people in our lives that we considered loved ones. Of course, such a subjective term like 'loved ones' can reach the standards of many more, but I personally consider those close to me as family, close friends, some coworkers, and possibly some mentors along the way. As we grow older, it seems that the population influx of new companions tends to be very low. At that point, we're set with just about every person that would hold a significant place in our lives. This is not only a reminder to our elders to cherish those loved ones we have presently, but also to the younger generations such as mine to really value the relationships and bonds we have formed so early on in our lifespan. Just one year makes such a difference, let alone 5 or 50 or what have you. It's a reality of the changing environments and rapidly evolving world around us:
People come and go.
You never know when the last day you speak to somebody will be. What that conversation will be like. What the cause of this separation will be. Who would be the one left in confusion or anger or grief. I have lost contact with loved ones many times for one reason or another. Those I once called best friends are all but begotten, living on through memory be it positive or negative. Others live in spiritual memory, having passed on to the afterlife. It's this period of bereavement that pays the highest price on our emotions. Although rather taboo in our culture, death is a concept that we rarely seem to factor in our lives. In personal experience, it seems as if any conversation about death spurs worry in others for me, like it's a morbid fascination. The fact of the matter is: death is incredibly real. And it can happen indiscriminately. At times it seems like there can be more questions than there are answers. But is it worth the time worrying what could have been instead of the life that once was? Death is no time for such existential quandaries; instead it is a circumstance of progression from that point. Instead of, "Why is this happening to me?", it aides to focus on, "How will this affect my vision for my own life looking forward?"
But hindsight is always 20/20.
Why do we tend to take for granted the time we have with each other right now? It's an incredibly fair assumption to believe that those we are surrounded by will still be here when we wake up in the morning. It's not necessarily natural to expect an untimely death, or to foresee an argument gone awry. Our minds have difficulty charting personal growth and change from the outside looking in. I don't think I've changed a lot since 8th grade, but anybody who has known me since 8th grade knows good and well that I am nothing like back then. It's absurd to even compare the two. Since then, I have experienced radical events both awe-inspiring and cataclysmic alike. Never could I have predicted the situations I find myself in today. Even so, things don't feel all that different. That lack of difference I feel is what allows us to take advantage of our situations presently. A stasis of satisfaction, solidarity that the ones we love will surround us and join us along forever in the journey that is our lives.
Most times it doesn't work that way.
So...what am I even trying to say? Just take time to appreciate your life right now. Anything could happen in the course of a night to throttle you into a position you never anticipated. Do me a favor, go grab your phone or get on Facebook or something and tell your parents you love them, tell a friend you appreciate their support through the years, thank a teacher for inspiring you to want to be a better person. Don't wait until then, do it now. Life experiences have taught me never to expect a 'then'. By the time it comes, your window of opportunity may have already shut. There are opportunities left on the table we all wish we could have again, but these instances lessen drastically when your lens shifts focus to what culminates in your life today. While the past is important in sculpting the persona we embody, it makes no sense to long for the egg you ate yesterday when the carton still has 11 eggs. Recognize the past in preparation for the future.
Every day is a gift. Cherish it like one.
Monday, May 23, 2016
Sweet
Where does anger come from?
As early as 5 years old, I have had issues with my temper. Of course, I grow out of it more and more each year to the point where now after 20 years, that anger doesn't tend to show itself externally all that much anymore. But do I still feel anger? Is that a question that even has to be asked? Anger, stress, frustration, anxiety; all facets of the negative human psyche and all very natural to feel in healthy increments. It's obvious that if we live through the lens of negativity and hatred, we will become different people because of it. Our personality type is normally dictated by our frame of mind. Life designates endless challenges, and our reactions to these experiences are vital to decision making not only for the future, but right here in the present also. I'd say it's safe to assume that for the most part, people in our spheres of influences aren't mostly angry or grumpy or what have you. That being said, we can all pick out someone we know that embodies some of these traits pretty quickly. How does someone live like that? Well, to answer that question, I will direct you to my initial question.
What spawns these feelings of anger?
Generally speaking, the biggest influence towards anger begins with a test towards one's morals. Disagreement over what somebody finds to be their most important aspect of why they live their life is a sure fire way to kindle the fire. Now, keep in mind, this lies among the core values of our personal humanity. Not only will morals differ between individuals, but a contrast in moralistic view does not always constitute a negative reaction. The art of reasoning and an open mind certainly aid in keeping level heads. Unfortunately, we can be forgetful in this advice while things are heated. As mentioned in previous blogs, emotion can be a very powerful force in driving our actions. Where else does anger seep through the cracks? Protection, the will to defend someone or something that has been or is in danger of being harmed. Bravery is another quality that can be associated with these incidents, in cases of the self-proclaimed 'Mama Bear Mode'. Anger is a reckless, unpredictable, and quite frankly remarkable human instinct that is capable of more than we may give credit to. I'll prove it.
Yell as loud as you can.
Chances are you can't do that or are rational enough of a person to not listen to what someone on the internet told you to do. As an alternative experiment, think of something or someone recently that made you upset. Think of what made you upset. Instantaneously, you might feel more tense around the temples. Your pulse and blood pressure rise, you may even be annoyed with the ignorance, injustice, or hypocrisy you encountered. Countless studies have been conducted on anger's effect in different areas of the human body, ranging from emotional to physical. It is my firm belief, however, that even the deepest and most thorough research of any human property is still inaccurate to the point of absolute certainty of personal reactions to our own anger. The slight, subtle chemical differences and imbalances make it impossible for the research to be anymore but a general guideline of expectations and really nothing more. I don't mean to throw out all of the science behind our behaviors, my point is that there is always more to it than the initial condition alone.
I've had a lot of time to think about anger recently.
Those that know me well (or even a little) know I am not necessarily an 'angry' person. Intense? You've got me there. I'll even take stern, disciplined, 'no fun' is stretching it a little, but never perpetually angry. Like I said, my anger has been a large presence in my life since early childhood. While it was tough to control through the end of elementary and beginning of middle school, I eventually got a hold on how to soften it and soon enough brush most of it off. But I've learned most recently that anger comes from places you wouldn't always expect. People you love and you care about...you can hold them up to some pretty high standards because you devote hours of your life towards them, but they don't always reciprocate. Even when they should. Do you know what really gets under the skin? When you know you're in the right. I'm not even talking through a perspective of arrogance or political demonstration. The decision you made is the one that in your mind and the minds of others is the best for the situation. Yet you are denied the freedom from the source, from the pain and the heartache and the restless nights questioning whether what you are doing really is right. It destroys you.
Even still, you can't become devoured by hate.
I have felt hate before. It's an awful feeling. You feel as if your soul has become lifeless, devoid of empathy and debating if you care about anything anymore. Malicious is the best word I can use to describe a feeling that strong. Malice doesn't mix too well with the conscious. Hate is a declaration of surrender. The enemy has won. Though nothing may come of the present situation, our essence has been compromised to the point of losing the person that we were always meant to be. I've lost that person...but the strongest way to exact revenge is to continue life, except better. Reach higher. Push harder. Turn that awesome power of anger around into motivation to defy the oppression that aims to tear you down and hold you back. As the kids say these days, haters gonna hate. The great part about time is that every day is a new day. Time heals all wounds, and with it the anger and pain decays like rust, unshackling our bonds towards the sweet release of freedom. It's so close I can taste it.
And it tastes so sweet.
As early as 5 years old, I have had issues with my temper. Of course, I grow out of it more and more each year to the point where now after 20 years, that anger doesn't tend to show itself externally all that much anymore. But do I still feel anger? Is that a question that even has to be asked? Anger, stress, frustration, anxiety; all facets of the negative human psyche and all very natural to feel in healthy increments. It's obvious that if we live through the lens of negativity and hatred, we will become different people because of it. Our personality type is normally dictated by our frame of mind. Life designates endless challenges, and our reactions to these experiences are vital to decision making not only for the future, but right here in the present also. I'd say it's safe to assume that for the most part, people in our spheres of influences aren't mostly angry or grumpy or what have you. That being said, we can all pick out someone we know that embodies some of these traits pretty quickly. How does someone live like that? Well, to answer that question, I will direct you to my initial question.
What spawns these feelings of anger?
Generally speaking, the biggest influence towards anger begins with a test towards one's morals. Disagreement over what somebody finds to be their most important aspect of why they live their life is a sure fire way to kindle the fire. Now, keep in mind, this lies among the core values of our personal humanity. Not only will morals differ between individuals, but a contrast in moralistic view does not always constitute a negative reaction. The art of reasoning and an open mind certainly aid in keeping level heads. Unfortunately, we can be forgetful in this advice while things are heated. As mentioned in previous blogs, emotion can be a very powerful force in driving our actions. Where else does anger seep through the cracks? Protection, the will to defend someone or something that has been or is in danger of being harmed. Bravery is another quality that can be associated with these incidents, in cases of the self-proclaimed 'Mama Bear Mode'. Anger is a reckless, unpredictable, and quite frankly remarkable human instinct that is capable of more than we may give credit to. I'll prove it.
Yell as loud as you can.
Chances are you can't do that or are rational enough of a person to not listen to what someone on the internet told you to do. As an alternative experiment, think of something or someone recently that made you upset. Think of what made you upset. Instantaneously, you might feel more tense around the temples. Your pulse and blood pressure rise, you may even be annoyed with the ignorance, injustice, or hypocrisy you encountered. Countless studies have been conducted on anger's effect in different areas of the human body, ranging from emotional to physical. It is my firm belief, however, that even the deepest and most thorough research of any human property is still inaccurate to the point of absolute certainty of personal reactions to our own anger. The slight, subtle chemical differences and imbalances make it impossible for the research to be anymore but a general guideline of expectations and really nothing more. I don't mean to throw out all of the science behind our behaviors, my point is that there is always more to it than the initial condition alone.
I've had a lot of time to think about anger recently.
Those that know me well (or even a little) know I am not necessarily an 'angry' person. Intense? You've got me there. I'll even take stern, disciplined, 'no fun' is stretching it a little, but never perpetually angry. Like I said, my anger has been a large presence in my life since early childhood. While it was tough to control through the end of elementary and beginning of middle school, I eventually got a hold on how to soften it and soon enough brush most of it off. But I've learned most recently that anger comes from places you wouldn't always expect. People you love and you care about...you can hold them up to some pretty high standards because you devote hours of your life towards them, but they don't always reciprocate. Even when they should. Do you know what really gets under the skin? When you know you're in the right. I'm not even talking through a perspective of arrogance or political demonstration. The decision you made is the one that in your mind and the minds of others is the best for the situation. Yet you are denied the freedom from the source, from the pain and the heartache and the restless nights questioning whether what you are doing really is right. It destroys you.
Even still, you can't become devoured by hate.
I have felt hate before. It's an awful feeling. You feel as if your soul has become lifeless, devoid of empathy and debating if you care about anything anymore. Malicious is the best word I can use to describe a feeling that strong. Malice doesn't mix too well with the conscious. Hate is a declaration of surrender. The enemy has won. Though nothing may come of the present situation, our essence has been compromised to the point of losing the person that we were always meant to be. I've lost that person...but the strongest way to exact revenge is to continue life, except better. Reach higher. Push harder. Turn that awesome power of anger around into motivation to defy the oppression that aims to tear you down and hold you back. As the kids say these days, haters gonna hate. The great part about time is that every day is a new day. Time heals all wounds, and with it the anger and pain decays like rust, unshackling our bonds towards the sweet release of freedom. It's so close I can taste it.
And it tastes so sweet.
Monday, April 18, 2016
Blossom
I'm twenty now.
I refuse to display that age numerically. The thought of having to type something other than a 1 first is terrifying. It's a physical manifestation of life progression represented by a row in my keyboard. Of course that's remarkably dramatic, age has never really been a prominent issue for me as far as coming to terms with getting older is concerned. I'm arguably in the prime time of my life. With an even two decades under my belt, I don't anticipate ending that streak anytime soon. I'm becoming indoctrinated into a brand new phase of adulthood akin from my 18th. Gone are the years of teenage adolescence, and here to stay are the days of...well, nothing too different from what I'm doing already: living my life. I rarely ever recognize the actual aging process, instead I prefer to define each age as a timeline of both good and bad landmark events. I mean, don't we all? I would safely bet that generally, people tend to naturally streamline the thought process of personal reflections. Every year when my birthday rolls around, I always become so nostalgic for times that once were, and not always the present. To explore the concept of time and all of its intricacies seems so cliché and overdone in this day and age, but the truth is that time is the former:
So intricate that the conversation material is infinite.
Think about it. Every perception and experience is unique to our person. Even if several people experience the exact same sensation, their perceptions can still vastly differ. Time is concrete in the sense that we are all subject to it, yet tangible enough in its essence to be dictated by how we choose to spend it. Of course, it's all just a fancy way of saying your time is what you make of it. Time is short, in relativity. We're all just blips on the radar in the endless ocean that is all the time that has ever existed or will exist. But with that sort of outlook, how is anybody supposed to enjoy the life they live? I've never been on the side of future seeking in terms of life philosophy, but I don't quite revel in my past either. Being in the moment, presently aware of the situation in the short term...it makes sense, right? Are you happy right now? If not, why? I feel that we commonly overlook the fact that we are the controllers of our own destiny. That being said, we can't blame ourselves for every negative outcome that spawns from our choices. Sometimes life finds you in some pretty compromising positions.
It's in those moments where you realize how quickly things can change in time.
Do the worst things really happen to the best people? There's no way to measure that at all. None of that rhetoric is credible to the point of data collection. My life experience to this point has been just as idiosyncratic as the next guy; the struggles and successes I attain can only be defined by my own recollection. Still there are times, though, where you can't help but sit and wonder, asking, "Why me? Why now?". Two very existential questions, and there is much debate on where to turn for such guidance which is not my business to dabble in. Instead, I'll leave it to this: life isn't fair sometimes. That sounds so pessimistic, but it's a fact of life. As I transpire into adulthood, I am beginning to face numerous challenges of varying difficulties and degrees. Those obstacles aren't going away, either. The moral here is that life is not fair, and how to react to that statement is what defines our character going forward. Even in the most enduring of times we can't allow ourselves to let up and accept our fate. Fight back.
In times of crisis, our true colors are revealed.
As I reflect on 19, my thought is immediately driven to the last month or so. My timeline has filled up rather plentifully, for better and for worse. I've been through events that I never would have imagined I'd be in lately. The kind of moments that leave you awake at night, typing away in the dull light of the screen, still wondering what to do. Time is a temperamental entity. It reconnects the ties that are severed and worn, it steadily burns the bridges of the strongest foundations. But can you let time define you? Not quite. Let it shape you. Allow time to be the supplement that augments your decisions presently, for the future. Set yourself up now for success in the future. The budson my tree of life may be wilted, but as time inevitably does, they will rebuild and blossom into something incredible soon. No matter what I've been through, none of it matters. What matters is what's on the other side: moving forward.
Twenty years sounds like a great time to blossom. Why not?
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Up My Sleeve
What is love?
It's pretty humorous the fact that we mock a question of its value (thanks in part to this comedy trio) and dismiss the very real implications behind it. The phrase really has become no more than an elementary pondering; it's a simple human emotion. Realistically speaking, how many of our emotions can we call simple? Consider the vast amount of depth to base emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, fear...hell, even the thesaurus will give you a different list of identities. So where exactly does love fall in that retrospect? Well, I could make the argument love is a smorgasbord of just a bit of everything. Don't call me Casanova, but I feel the 3 or 4 true, meaningful relationships I've had since high school exemplify a 'quality over quantity' disposition. Pass it off as no more than high school romance, but damn if it wasn't love that I felt in those many, many weeks in relationships...I may never feel it. Recently, I've related strongly to the opposite half of the equation -- many, many weeks not in a relationship. In fact, next month will mark 2 years since my last relationship, and I don't mean to convey that as a, "woe is me, I'll never love again!", more than I mean to wonder, "wow, it's been 2 years already?". Believe me, I would be lying if I said that being single has not been tough at times. It has its drawbacks, but it's the positive benefits that count at the end of the day. I have to say, I'm confident that this time out of intimacy has helped me become a stronger person in myself and my future relationships, and I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to recenter my focus on what makes having a significant other so rewarding.
However, seeking perfection in an imperfect system creates obstacles.
Many people who know me know that I can be an open book, wear my heart on my sleeve, if you will. I try not to delve too deep into my interpersonal relationships, especially the sacred nature of past memories with the aforementioned, and I'll do my best to keep it that way for the sake of your attention span and the respect of girlfriends past (hi if you're reading!). What I mean to get at is every relationship, positive or negative, teaches me something new as far as what to do and what not to do. That's something every relationship should do in my opinion, Teach you about love. The personal effects, the sacrifices that must be made, what it means to be a good partner, all of the elements that make up a strong, healthy, and most importantly sustaining relationship. You might be thinking, "Isn't it a little early to have a relationship and be looking for the one?". I know, I've thought the same thing to myself since high school. I've found the broader question to be asking ourselves is, "When is the right time to be thinking about the one?". This challenges me a little. I find myself stuck here in limbo. On one hand, a reality where I spend my time weeding out those I find less than suitable for the long run and dating to search for the person I ultimately spend my life with. On the other, a life of mostly failed relationships with little compatibility, frequent disagreement, and questionable intimacy until you stumble upon the diamond in the rough. I'll admit, the descriptions I gave here do give off a sense of complaint, but they showcase once more the principle of quantity-vs.-quality.
Truly a catch-22 if I've ever seen one.
So what's the better method? More women or more compatible women? After two years of watching others' relationships and the knowledge of my previous relationships combined, I find that the one thing I miss most from being in a relationship is the sharing of passions between two like minded people. Being in a relationship more often than not has brought out the best in me, and others. A successful relationship has potential to breed the most creative collaborative thoughts and ideas imaginable. Advancing an acquaintance into a lifetime friend, the confider of all things confidential and the safekeeper of hopes and dreams. A relationship involving strong mutual support makes you feel...unstoppable. Makes your ambitions sound a whole lot more unstoppable, too. The tides are beginning to turn a new age however, as I see a lot of relationships founded upon mere lust for one another, trivializing the qualities that make human beings remarkable, fascinating creatures and electing instead to substitute them with a set of genitals. Sure, the reward is much more appetizing in the short term, but can you look yourself in the mirror and say this foundation will create a happier and more satisfying future for you? If not, maybe you need something different.
I think I need something different.
To wrap my thoughts up, I bring us back to our question at hand: what is love? Well, less of an emotion. More than a feeling, so to speak. A state of mind, Accepting the fact that as humans, we screw up. Devoting parts of our entire lives to one individual out of compassion and trust. When you can share the hobbies that make you exuberant with a person who makes those activities feel even more grandiose...that is love. Can you blame me for waiting? I've run my trials and tribulations, made my fair share of mistakes and wrongdoings, and now I'm single so that I can look for 'the one'. And I say, 'the one', not quite in the traditional sense of that phrase. I'm looking for the one that I can share this continuing gift of life with. Is that not a gift worth spreading? If not...well, keep an eye out for the one that's worth spreading it with. If wearing my heart on my sleeve is considered negative, so be it.
You could say I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve.
It's pretty humorous the fact that we mock a question of its value (thanks in part to this comedy trio) and dismiss the very real implications behind it. The phrase really has become no more than an elementary pondering; it's a simple human emotion. Realistically speaking, how many of our emotions can we call simple? Consider the vast amount of depth to base emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, fear...hell, even the thesaurus will give you a different list of identities. So where exactly does love fall in that retrospect? Well, I could make the argument love is a smorgasbord of just a bit of everything. Don't call me Casanova, but I feel the 3 or 4 true, meaningful relationships I've had since high school exemplify a 'quality over quantity' disposition. Pass it off as no more than high school romance, but damn if it wasn't love that I felt in those many, many weeks in relationships...I may never feel it. Recently, I've related strongly to the opposite half of the equation -- many, many weeks not in a relationship. In fact, next month will mark 2 years since my last relationship, and I don't mean to convey that as a, "woe is me, I'll never love again!", more than I mean to wonder, "wow, it's been 2 years already?". Believe me, I would be lying if I said that being single has not been tough at times. It has its drawbacks, but it's the positive benefits that count at the end of the day. I have to say, I'm confident that this time out of intimacy has helped me become a stronger person in myself and my future relationships, and I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to recenter my focus on what makes having a significant other so rewarding.
However, seeking perfection in an imperfect system creates obstacles.
Many people who know me know that I can be an open book, wear my heart on my sleeve, if you will. I try not to delve too deep into my interpersonal relationships, especially the sacred nature of past memories with the aforementioned, and I'll do my best to keep it that way for the sake of your attention span and the respect of girlfriends past (hi if you're reading!). What I mean to get at is every relationship, positive or negative, teaches me something new as far as what to do and what not to do. That's something every relationship should do in my opinion, Teach you about love. The personal effects, the sacrifices that must be made, what it means to be a good partner, all of the elements that make up a strong, healthy, and most importantly sustaining relationship. You might be thinking, "Isn't it a little early to have a relationship and be looking for the one?". I know, I've thought the same thing to myself since high school. I've found the broader question to be asking ourselves is, "When is the right time to be thinking about the one?". This challenges me a little. I find myself stuck here in limbo. On one hand, a reality where I spend my time weeding out those I find less than suitable for the long run and dating to search for the person I ultimately spend my life with. On the other, a life of mostly failed relationships with little compatibility, frequent disagreement, and questionable intimacy until you stumble upon the diamond in the rough. I'll admit, the descriptions I gave here do give off a sense of complaint, but they showcase once more the principle of quantity-vs.-quality.
Truly a catch-22 if I've ever seen one.
So what's the better method? More women or more compatible women? After two years of watching others' relationships and the knowledge of my previous relationships combined, I find that the one thing I miss most from being in a relationship is the sharing of passions between two like minded people. Being in a relationship more often than not has brought out the best in me, and others. A successful relationship has potential to breed the most creative collaborative thoughts and ideas imaginable. Advancing an acquaintance into a lifetime friend, the confider of all things confidential and the safekeeper of hopes and dreams. A relationship involving strong mutual support makes you feel...unstoppable. Makes your ambitions sound a whole lot more unstoppable, too. The tides are beginning to turn a new age however, as I see a lot of relationships founded upon mere lust for one another, trivializing the qualities that make human beings remarkable, fascinating creatures and electing instead to substitute them with a set of genitals. Sure, the reward is much more appetizing in the short term, but can you look yourself in the mirror and say this foundation will create a happier and more satisfying future for you? If not, maybe you need something different.
I think I need something different.
To wrap my thoughts up, I bring us back to our question at hand: what is love? Well, less of an emotion. More than a feeling, so to speak. A state of mind, Accepting the fact that as humans, we screw up. Devoting parts of our entire lives to one individual out of compassion and trust. When you can share the hobbies that make you exuberant with a person who makes those activities feel even more grandiose...that is love. Can you blame me for waiting? I've run my trials and tribulations, made my fair share of mistakes and wrongdoings, and now I'm single so that I can look for 'the one'. And I say, 'the one', not quite in the traditional sense of that phrase. I'm looking for the one that I can share this continuing gift of life with. Is that not a gift worth spreading? If not...well, keep an eye out for the one that's worth spreading it with. If wearing my heart on my sleeve is considered negative, so be it.
You could say I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Labels
I hate stereotypes.
Wait, that's a different blog! (shameless self-promotion, sorry.) In actuality, I feel like I've talked about the topic of stereotypes in previous years' entries numerous times. Stereotypes blatantly ignore the rich culture behind a body of people, many of which are incredibly positive and more importantly are just like the rest of us: indoctrinated, by-the-book Americans as our parents raised us. Rather than considering the lifestyle of the stereotyped, false judgement based on appearance and habits replaces most sentiment of fact. Obviously we have to be careful with what is considered a stereotype, as the line can be very thin on both sides of the spectrum. Stereotypes and racism can often be attributed, but it's a square-rectangle debacle, not all stereotypes are racist (etc.), while a negative attribute of a group can just as easily be mistaken as a stereotype. It's a thin line to walk, but these days it's pretty easy to tell what category of generalizations people make about each other.
Just take a look around.
Gosh, with all of the hysteria surrounding the U.S., there's fingers being pointed left and right on who the blame is towards, and often times a scapegoat ends up taking the burden in the end. These scapegoats are often those same stereotyped groups I mentioned before; the negative stigma surrounding these bodies of people make it easy to simply pass off the real issue at hand and say, "Eh, it's easier to blame someone else." Hell, Donald Trump is running an entire campaign based on this idealism -- place the blame elsewhere. Poor job market after a bad economy? Must be those damned Mexicans taking all our jobs! Build a wall! Domestic terrorism? Muslims! Let's not look for those inside the U.S. who are plotting against our nation, but Muslims are terror-fiends that must be stopped at all costs! Now, I'm not here to talk about politics (perhaps another time?), but it's a perfect example of scapegoating to promote a personal agenda...or blatant ignorance, which I could see both being the cause of in this case. But with that being said, let's transgress a little to a more personal note.
Where do you fall in stereotypes?
Chances are simply by existing, you are grouped into a stereotype. For Christ's sake, your gender more or less defines the kind of person that you're 'supposed' to be for the rest of your life, as far as social standards go. The color of your skin, your belief system, the activities you participate in -- stereotypes are everywhere. And again, as I mentioned in my opening, it's mostly the lack of knowledge and education on a group and instead replacing it with what we've been shown, the glamorization (so to speak) of the negative. Labeled a nuisance to the public at large simply because of affiliation that more often than not is not a choice. I've heard my fair share of stereotypical remarks, being red-headed, involved in a marching band program, and honestly just for being male. Pretty remarkable, in fact. But there's just one stereotype here that I want to bring up that irks me to no end.
The college student.
You know the kind! The social justice warrior who click-clacks at their keyboards all day, triggered by any issue you throw at them, needing a safe space for their verbal trauma while whining about their lives and how difficult they have it. I'm sure you know someone that's thrown around this terminology, loosely or verbatim. What really gets under my skin about this representation is...well, just look at it. Blanketed by prejudice and falsehood. I mean, come on, when has anybody EVER seen a college age student in real life who needed to separate themselves to feel "safe"? I'm convinced this has never happened. I hear about it all the time but I've never actually seen it, and hell, I AM a college student. But don't tell anybody who thinks this about you, because suddenly as soon as you try to defend your position on why none of that nonsense makes any sort of sense, you're offended, you can't take a joke, you're not in on it, you'e just one of them. Please. It's getting out of hand. So you know what I've been doing instead of arguing my case?
Breaking the stereotype.
You can't expect one person to change the perception of ignorance. Nor could you expect ten. Or one hundred. Probably not even one thousand. Ignorance is bliss as they say, and some people are just happy as can be. But what you can do is be a fair and just individual that lives their life beyond the bounds of what they're told, and instead re-invent the type of person you want to be seen as, not what others see you as. Defending yourself is now written off as being offended? Fine. They can throw as many hurdles and obstacles to denounce your affiliation as possible, but to quote another cliche saying, actions speak louder than words. Like it or not, everybody's watching. Your actions could define what others think about people like you potentially for the rest of their lives. Instead of complaining of the label slapped on me by society, I choose to take a stand and say, "College students are the brighter future of America's business leaders, working class, and government officials." through habit, not through tongues. An unwanted responsibility? Perhaps, but a responsibility nonetheless to just be a decent fucking human being.
Don't be just a label.
Wait, that's a different blog! (shameless self-promotion, sorry.) In actuality, I feel like I've talked about the topic of stereotypes in previous years' entries numerous times. Stereotypes blatantly ignore the rich culture behind a body of people, many of which are incredibly positive and more importantly are just like the rest of us: indoctrinated, by-the-book Americans as our parents raised us. Rather than considering the lifestyle of the stereotyped, false judgement based on appearance and habits replaces most sentiment of fact. Obviously we have to be careful with what is considered a stereotype, as the line can be very thin on both sides of the spectrum. Stereotypes and racism can often be attributed, but it's a square-rectangle debacle, not all stereotypes are racist (etc.), while a negative attribute of a group can just as easily be mistaken as a stereotype. It's a thin line to walk, but these days it's pretty easy to tell what category of generalizations people make about each other.
Just take a look around.
Gosh, with all of the hysteria surrounding the U.S., there's fingers being pointed left and right on who the blame is towards, and often times a scapegoat ends up taking the burden in the end. These scapegoats are often those same stereotyped groups I mentioned before; the negative stigma surrounding these bodies of people make it easy to simply pass off the real issue at hand and say, "Eh, it's easier to blame someone else." Hell, Donald Trump is running an entire campaign based on this idealism -- place the blame elsewhere. Poor job market after a bad economy? Must be those damned Mexicans taking all our jobs! Build a wall! Domestic terrorism? Muslims! Let's not look for those inside the U.S. who are plotting against our nation, but Muslims are terror-fiends that must be stopped at all costs! Now, I'm not here to talk about politics (perhaps another time?), but it's a perfect example of scapegoating to promote a personal agenda...or blatant ignorance, which I could see both being the cause of in this case. But with that being said, let's transgress a little to a more personal note.
Where do you fall in stereotypes?
Chances are simply by existing, you are grouped into a stereotype. For Christ's sake, your gender more or less defines the kind of person that you're 'supposed' to be for the rest of your life, as far as social standards go. The color of your skin, your belief system, the activities you participate in -- stereotypes are everywhere. And again, as I mentioned in my opening, it's mostly the lack of knowledge and education on a group and instead replacing it with what we've been shown, the glamorization (so to speak) of the negative. Labeled a nuisance to the public at large simply because of affiliation that more often than not is not a choice. I've heard my fair share of stereotypical remarks, being red-headed, involved in a marching band program, and honestly just for being male. Pretty remarkable, in fact. But there's just one stereotype here that I want to bring up that irks me to no end.
The college student.
You know the kind! The social justice warrior who click-clacks at their keyboards all day, triggered by any issue you throw at them, needing a safe space for their verbal trauma while whining about their lives and how difficult they have it. I'm sure you know someone that's thrown around this terminology, loosely or verbatim. What really gets under my skin about this representation is...well, just look at it. Blanketed by prejudice and falsehood. I mean, come on, when has anybody EVER seen a college age student in real life who needed to separate themselves to feel "safe"? I'm convinced this has never happened. I hear about it all the time but I've never actually seen it, and hell, I AM a college student. But don't tell anybody who thinks this about you, because suddenly as soon as you try to defend your position on why none of that nonsense makes any sort of sense, you're offended, you can't take a joke, you're not in on it, you'e just one of them. Please. It's getting out of hand. So you know what I've been doing instead of arguing my case?
Breaking the stereotype.
You can't expect one person to change the perception of ignorance. Nor could you expect ten. Or one hundred. Probably not even one thousand. Ignorance is bliss as they say, and some people are just happy as can be. But what you can do is be a fair and just individual that lives their life beyond the bounds of what they're told, and instead re-invent the type of person you want to be seen as, not what others see you as. Defending yourself is now written off as being offended? Fine. They can throw as many hurdles and obstacles to denounce your affiliation as possible, but to quote another cliche saying, actions speak louder than words. Like it or not, everybody's watching. Your actions could define what others think about people like you potentially for the rest of their lives. Instead of complaining of the label slapped on me by society, I choose to take a stand and say, "College students are the brighter future of America's business leaders, working class, and government officials." through habit, not through tongues. An unwanted responsibility? Perhaps, but a responsibility nonetheless to just be a decent fucking human being.
Don't be just a label.
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