Karma

Karma is defined as the principle of performing one action, and this action will be returned to you.

This is the lifestyle that I have striven to achieve to the best of my ability. It just seems like my human nature enables me to help others more than myself. I couldn't really tell you why I do it. But I do. Other people mean everything to me. It doesn't matter how low, or how beaten, or how upset I am. The happiness of others is what means most to me. It is a topic I have delved into more than once, the concept of selflessness, and how achieving a balance of selfish and selfless behavior is the target. By giving enough to people, my ultimate passion in life, my life should be a well managed and balanced life through the principle of karma.

That's what you'd think, anyways.

I don't mean to exhibit self-pity unto myself, but things just haven't been great. And perhaps, this is my own fault. It seems all I do is give, and give, and give until my heart simply can't give any more. Regardless if it helps my own well being or not, I do all I can to help. My biggest flaw is that I try to please everyone, and this is a curse that I simply cannot shake. I truly am incredibly selfless, and some might say that is a good thing. In fact, it must be. All anybody tells me anymore is that "Joe, you're so helpful, you're such a great person, you'd do anything for someone." But in reality, that is my own downfall. I am so humble over myself, these comments don't even phase me anymore. It's just who I am. Lately, that hasn't been good for me. I seem to care less and less about myself. My own needs. I'm coming to the realization that really, there aren't many people that would return the favor.

It's just not human nature.

Everybody nowadays is so concerned with their own needs, what pleases them, selfishness over selflessness. This seems to be the way that people get through their lives successfully. Minding only themselves and no one else. Which is ironic, because through helping others so much, making others happy whereas it probably meant nothing to them in the long run, my life has only become worse for me. I just can't find any motivation to care about myself, because I only want to help others. No one really sees that as something wrong. But it is. Sometimes I wonder whether what I do truly impacts people, or whether people really take compassion for granted. Maybe karma's right.

Maybe I'm not as great as everyone says I am.