The Empty Room

I encourage you to try something.

Go into a secluded place. Your room perhaps, any place that enables meditation to occur. Make sure there is zero outside sound. Absolutely no sound at all. Close your eyes. What do you see? What do you hear? In fact, it is impossible to hear nothing. It is impossible to not create images within our subconscious that mimic what we portray the world around us to be. We hear the sounds that our brain wants us to hear, our feeble ears are not trained to deal with an absence of absolute sound. Our minds prohibit such an action. Instead, we are filled with what we think we hear, what we want to hear.

Emptiness is not what humanity is taught to transmit.

Yet, like an empty room, white walls surrounding you, nothing but you and your thoughts, I have felt emptiness. Something that disconnects me from the social norm and sparks a plethora of emotions from the depths of my mind. To be painfully presented with the images of what I desire, what I portray my life to be. It is similar to looking at a prized object through a window, in all of its esteemed glory, its beauty, the meaning it has within the chambers of your heart and mind, and you cannot have it, for what reason is up to circumstance. One of the most terrible human emotions to feel is regret. Knowing that one action could have resulted in something completely different, or perhaps not. No one knows.

This is what eats away at the mind.

This has driven me to the point of insanity, coupled with the figments of imagination that my brain spawns from silence and the sounds that soothe my ears when in actuality I hear nothing. Nothingness is the reality that I live in, where I cannot trust any perception to be reality nor falsified. Not even the concept of emptiness is safe from my own twisted perception, which is perhaps not twisted from my perspective, but maybe everyone else twists their perspective for myself, who knows at this point.

Perhaps I'm too far into emptiness.