The Fountain of Youth

I finally reconnected with the world after a near 2-month hiatus from the internet. I've been absolutely thrilled to blog again. It's like reconnecting with a long-lost friend. My pursuit for the meaning of life has taken a dramatic detour since I returned to this wasteland of a home. I've almost completely forgotten the whole reason that I even made this blog. Lately, I've been reconnecting myself with all of the things that make life so luxurious. It's been difficult without support. Definitely I have caused some heartbreak that didn't need to be inflicted. But I've been going through life. I feel my spirit healing once more. Life is becoming more and more beautiful as I begin to open my eyes to the world again.

I've had my share of epiphanies though.

As I have gotten back to my house (and I refer to my place of residence as my house, this house will never be a home to me), I have been thrown the overwhelming responsibility to step out of my adolescence and become an adult. Simple childhood memories I used to have can no longer be experienced as a 15 year old. Most notably, I've been watching an old cartoon that I used to enjoy lately. My stepdad caught me watching it, and he immediately told me I couldn't watch that. That I needed to mature, and that started with leaving behind cartoons.

I'll never understand.

There are so many responsibilities that are placed with growing up. Becoming an adult means work, work, work. It seems as if the cut off date for childhood is becoming younger and younger. I never would have imagined getting a job at the age that I am. The most disappointing aspect is that my parents are expecting and even demanding that I become an adult. By rebeling, I am only delaying the inevitable. I've seen so many people start to grow up, and it makes me uneasy to know that I'm gonna be next sooner or later. I thought recently that my high school years are creeping up on me fast. I'm already a sophomore. Only two more short years. I'm not ready to leave the safety of youth. As an adult, you're on your own. There is no help. The dependence you once had quickly becomes independence, and you no longer have anyone to lean on.

It's a terrifying thought.

However, I've heard of a thing called the Fountain of Youth. It's all something that we stride for, something that we all lust over. A child represents something more than that which can be put into words. A child represents all of the freedom in the world, the smile of that child that fills the hearts of many with eternal joy and happiness. Children represent all that is pure and wholesome. Something about adolescence just seems so innocent. But about the smile of an adult? There is no happiness. No emotion, in fact. It shows power. Greed. The destruction of nations fell under the hands of one that has no idea what they are doing. Maybe adults are more childish than children. Maybe adults are the ones who need to mature.

Maybe the Fountain of Youth has dried up.