It's been a pretty eye-opening week as usual. Life's unpredictable path has yet again seemed to derail me from my pursuit. Sometimes I wish I could just keep my eyes shut and not have to look at all of the negativity the world spreads. Deceit from those you thought you could trust most. I suppose that's more my fault for allowing them to do so. A tough week, most definitely. Then again, it's not really something I'm not used to. It seems as if every week is a bad week, as if every day seems to drag on like someone is pulling life by the hair and dragging it alongside the road.
But I don't want to end July on a bad note.
Besides some of the hard hits I've taken all week, I've been pretty observant of the world around me once more. Happiness that seems to spawn from the darkest places. Happiness that spreads like a virus. I'm not really sure how I could possibly describe something that appears so abstract, but I certainly have experienced quite a few scenarios. There's just those occasional moments that blossom out of nothing, a nod to a passing stranger, a conversation with someone you don't even know, the smile of a pretty girl that fills your heart with joy, and you don't even know her name, let alone will ever see her again. What brings so much joy from such mondane tasks? Simplicity is what makes life so sweet. The freedom to know that you can just walk and keep walking down the road that never ends. One of the greatest feelings you could ever feel is that of not knowing where you are going, but consciously knowing where you never have to back to.
I'd know from recent experience.
And what lies beyond the infinite road? No one can say for sure. The endless path is that which we individually choose to follow. Do we follow it for a purpose? Or rather is the infinite road one that we follow to escape, never to be found again? There isn't really a right or a wrong answer. Whereas the infinite road may be metaphorical, we all have a road that we travel down, looking for something. I don't think we'll ever truly find that one thing we're destined to discover. Even if we do, we might pass it by. It's that subtle, that mysterious of an item that we might even be passing by what we search for as we speak. Remember that the next time you pass by the stranger on the street without smiling.
Spread the word.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
The Fountain of Youth
I finally reconnected with the world after a near 2-month hiatus from the internet. I've been absolutely thrilled to blog again. It's like reconnecting with a long-lost friend. My pursuit for the meaning of life has taken a dramatic detour since I returned to this wasteland of a home. I've almost completely forgotten the whole reason that I even made this blog. Lately, I've been reconnecting myself with all of the things that make life so luxurious. It's been difficult without support. Definitely I have caused some heartbreak that didn't need to be inflicted. But I've been going through life. I feel my spirit healing once more. Life is becoming more and more beautiful as I begin to open my eyes to the world again.
I've had my share of epiphanies though.
As I have gotten back to my house (and I refer to my place of residence as my house, this house will never be a home to me), I have been thrown the overwhelming responsibility to step out of my adolescence and become an adult. Simple childhood memories I used to have can no longer be experienced as a 15 year old. Most notably, I've been watching an old cartoon that I used to enjoy lately. My stepdad caught me watching it, and he immediately told me I couldn't watch that. That I needed to mature, and that started with leaving behind cartoons.
I'll never understand.
There are so many responsibilities that are placed with growing up. Becoming an adult means work, work, work. It seems as if the cut off date for childhood is becoming younger and younger. I never would have imagined getting a job at the age that I am. The most disappointing aspect is that my parents are expecting and even demanding that I become an adult. By rebeling, I am only delaying the inevitable. I've seen so many people start to grow up, and it makes me uneasy to know that I'm gonna be next sooner or later. I thought recently that my high school years are creeping up on me fast. I'm already a sophomore. Only two more short years. I'm not ready to leave the safety of youth. As an adult, you're on your own. There is no help. The dependence you once had quickly becomes independence, and you no longer have anyone to lean on.
It's a terrifying thought.
However, I've heard of a thing called the Fountain of Youth. It's all something that we stride for, something that we all lust over. A child represents something more than that which can be put into words. A child represents all of the freedom in the world, the smile of that child that fills the hearts of many with eternal joy and happiness. Children represent all that is pure and wholesome. Something about adolescence just seems so innocent. But about the smile of an adult? There is no happiness. No emotion, in fact. It shows power. Greed. The destruction of nations fell under the hands of one that has no idea what they are doing. Maybe adults are more childish than children. Maybe adults are the ones who need to mature.
Maybe the Fountain of Youth has dried up.
I've had my share of epiphanies though.
As I have gotten back to my house (and I refer to my place of residence as my house, this house will never be a home to me), I have been thrown the overwhelming responsibility to step out of my adolescence and become an adult. Simple childhood memories I used to have can no longer be experienced as a 15 year old. Most notably, I've been watching an old cartoon that I used to enjoy lately. My stepdad caught me watching it, and he immediately told me I couldn't watch that. That I needed to mature, and that started with leaving behind cartoons.
I'll never understand.
There are so many responsibilities that are placed with growing up. Becoming an adult means work, work, work. It seems as if the cut off date for childhood is becoming younger and younger. I never would have imagined getting a job at the age that I am. The most disappointing aspect is that my parents are expecting and even demanding that I become an adult. By rebeling, I am only delaying the inevitable. I've seen so many people start to grow up, and it makes me uneasy to know that I'm gonna be next sooner or later. I thought recently that my high school years are creeping up on me fast. I'm already a sophomore. Only two more short years. I'm not ready to leave the safety of youth. As an adult, you're on your own. There is no help. The dependence you once had quickly becomes independence, and you no longer have anyone to lean on.
It's a terrifying thought.
However, I've heard of a thing called the Fountain of Youth. It's all something that we stride for, something that we all lust over. A child represents something more than that which can be put into words. A child represents all of the freedom in the world, the smile of that child that fills the hearts of many with eternal joy and happiness. Children represent all that is pure and wholesome. Something about adolescence just seems so innocent. But about the smile of an adult? There is no happiness. No emotion, in fact. It shows power. Greed. The destruction of nations fell under the hands of one that has no idea what they are doing. Maybe adults are more childish than children. Maybe adults are the ones who need to mature.
Maybe the Fountain of Youth has dried up.
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