Where does anger come from?
As early as 5 years old, I have had issues with my temper. Of course, I grow out of it more and more each year to the point where now after 20 years, that anger doesn't tend to show itself externally all that much anymore. But do I still feel anger? Is that a question that even has to be asked? Anger, stress, frustration, anxiety; all facets of the negative human psyche and all very natural to feel in healthy increments. It's obvious that if we live through the lens of negativity and hatred, we will become different people because of it. Our personality type is normally dictated by our frame of mind. Life designates endless challenges, and our reactions to these experiences are vital to decision making not only for the future, but right here in the present also. I'd say it's safe to assume that for the most part, people in our spheres of influences aren't mostly angry or grumpy or what have you. That being said, we can all pick out someone we know that embodies some of these traits pretty quickly. How does someone live like that? Well, to answer that question, I will direct you to my initial question.
What spawns these feelings of anger?
Generally speaking, the biggest influence towards anger begins with a test towards one's morals. Disagreement over what somebody finds to be their most important aspect of why they live their life is a sure fire way to kindle the fire. Now, keep in mind, this lies among the core values of our personal humanity. Not only will morals differ between individuals, but a contrast in moralistic view does not always constitute a negative reaction. The art of reasoning and an open mind certainly aid in keeping level heads. Unfortunately, we can be forgetful in this advice while things are heated. As mentioned in previous blogs, emotion can be a very powerful force in driving our actions. Where else does anger seep through the cracks? Protection, the will to defend someone or something that has been or is in danger of being harmed. Bravery is another quality that can be associated with these incidents, in cases of the self-proclaimed 'Mama Bear Mode'. Anger is a reckless, unpredictable, and quite frankly remarkable human instinct that is capable of more than we may give credit to. I'll prove it.
Yell as loud as you can.
Chances are you can't do that or are rational enough of a person to not listen to what someone on the internet told you to do. As an alternative experiment, think of something or someone recently that made you upset. Think of what made you upset. Instantaneously, you might feel more tense around the temples. Your pulse and blood pressure rise, you may even be annoyed with the ignorance, injustice, or hypocrisy you encountered. Countless studies have been conducted on anger's effect in different areas of the human body, ranging from emotional to physical. It is my firm belief, however, that even the deepest and most thorough research of any human property is still inaccurate to the point of absolute certainty of personal reactions to our own anger. The slight, subtle chemical differences and imbalances make it impossible for the research to be anymore but a general guideline of expectations and really nothing more. I don't mean to throw out all of the science behind our behaviors, my point is that there is always more to it than the initial condition alone.
I've had a lot of time to think about anger recently.
Those that know me well (or even a little) know I am not necessarily an 'angry' person. Intense? You've got me there. I'll even take stern, disciplined, 'no fun' is stretching it a little, but never perpetually angry. Like I said, my anger has been a large presence in my life since early childhood. While it was tough to control through the end of elementary and beginning of middle school, I eventually got a hold on how to soften it and soon enough brush most of it off. But I've learned most recently that anger comes from places you wouldn't always expect. People you love and you care about...you can hold them up to some pretty high standards because you devote hours of your life towards them, but they don't always reciprocate. Even when they should. Do you know what really gets under the skin? When you know you're in the right. I'm not even talking through a perspective of arrogance or political demonstration. The decision you made is the one that in your mind and the minds of others is the best for the situation. Yet you are denied the freedom from the source, from the pain and the heartache and the restless nights questioning whether what you are doing really is right. It destroys you.
Even still, you can't become devoured by hate.
I have felt hate before. It's an awful feeling. You feel as if your soul has become lifeless, devoid of empathy and debating if you care about anything anymore. Malicious is the best word I can use to describe a feeling that strong. Malice doesn't mix too well with the conscious. Hate is a declaration of surrender. The enemy has won. Though nothing may come of the present situation, our essence has been compromised to the point of losing the person that we were always meant to be. I've lost that person...but the strongest way to exact revenge is to continue life, except better. Reach higher. Push harder. Turn that awesome power of anger around into motivation to defy the oppression that aims to tear you down and hold you back. As the kids say these days, haters gonna hate. The great part about time is that every day is a new day. Time heals all wounds, and with it the anger and pain decays like rust, unshackling our bonds towards the sweet release of freedom. It's so close I can taste it.
And it tastes so sweet.
