I refuse to display that age numerically. The thought of having to type something other than a 1 first is terrifying. It's a physical manifestation of life progression represented by a row in my keyboard. Of course that's remarkably dramatic, age has never really been a prominent issue for me as far as coming to terms with getting older is concerned. I'm arguably in the prime time of my life. With an even two decades under my belt, I don't anticipate ending that streak anytime soon. I'm becoming indoctrinated into a brand new phase of adulthood akin from my 18th. Gone are the years of teenage adolescence, and here to stay are the days of...well, nothing too different from what I'm doing already: living my life. I rarely ever recognize the actual aging process, instead I prefer to define each age as a timeline of both good and bad landmark events. I mean, don't we all? I would safely bet that generally, people tend to naturally streamline the thought process of personal reflections. Every year when my birthday rolls around, I always become so nostalgic for times that once were, and not always the present. To explore the concept of time and all of its intricacies seems so cliché and overdone in this day and age, but the truth is that time is the former:
So intricate that the conversation material is infinite.
Think about it. Every perception and experience is unique to our person. Even if several people experience the exact same sensation, their perceptions can still vastly differ. Time is concrete in the sense that we are all subject to it, yet tangible enough in its essence to be dictated by how we choose to spend it. Of course, it's all just a fancy way of saying your time is what you make of it. Time is short, in relativity. We're all just blips on the radar in the endless ocean that is all the time that has ever existed or will exist. But with that sort of outlook, how is anybody supposed to enjoy the life they live? I've never been on the side of future seeking in terms of life philosophy, but I don't quite revel in my past either. Being in the moment, presently aware of the situation in the short term...it makes sense, right? Are you happy right now? If not, why? I feel that we commonly overlook the fact that we are the controllers of our own destiny. That being said, we can't blame ourselves for every negative outcome that spawns from our choices. Sometimes life finds you in some pretty compromising positions.
It's in those moments where you realize how quickly things can change in time.
Do the worst things really happen to the best people? There's no way to measure that at all. None of that rhetoric is credible to the point of data collection. My life experience to this point has been just as idiosyncratic as the next guy; the struggles and successes I attain can only be defined by my own recollection. Still there are times, though, where you can't help but sit and wonder, asking, "Why me? Why now?". Two very existential questions, and there is much debate on where to turn for such guidance which is not my business to dabble in. Instead, I'll leave it to this: life isn't fair sometimes. That sounds so pessimistic, but it's a fact of life. As I transpire into adulthood, I am beginning to face numerous challenges of varying difficulties and degrees. Those obstacles aren't going away, either. The moral here is that life is not fair, and how to react to that statement is what defines our character going forward. Even in the most enduring of times we can't allow ourselves to let up and accept our fate. Fight back.
In times of crisis, our true colors are revealed.
As I reflect on 19, my thought is immediately driven to the last month or so. My timeline has filled up rather plentifully, for better and for worse. I've been through events that I never would have imagined I'd be in lately. The kind of moments that leave you awake at night, typing away in the dull light of the screen, still wondering what to do. Time is a temperamental entity. It reconnects the ties that are severed and worn, it steadily burns the bridges of the strongest foundations. But can you let time define you? Not quite. Let it shape you. Allow time to be the supplement that augments your decisions presently, for the future. Set yourself up now for success in the future. The budson my tree of life may be wilted, but as time inevitably does, they will rebuild and blossom into something incredible soon. No matter what I've been through, none of it matters. What matters is what's on the other side: moving forward.
Twenty years sounds like a great time to blossom. Why not?
