I've returned to the bittersweet sensation of Loveland. Surely have returned alright.
Lately, I have questioned some of my own conflicts. The emotional tyranny that I put myself under is starting to eat away at my conscience, although nothing is wrong. It seems to be a paradox, that I am under a problematic situation where there is no problem. When the heart yearns for something that it so desperately wants, but the opposing forces of the mind hinder your emotion. Why feel when there is nothing to feel for?
Of course, I'm only rambling at this point.
I've been struggling with myself lately. All is calm and all is well, but I can't seem to escape my emotion. It binds me to the wall like a shackle. The trouble of wanting something that you cannot acquire. But yet, there are those who still pursue this unreachable objective. It seems reasonable that if I cannot successfully obtain what I want, I should simply stop trying; however, I still persist.
May I ask, why?
Why (and I'm speaking those who do this in general, not just myself) do those who want something that we cannot get, not give up? It's such an elementary thought, why can something so simple not be carried out? See, this is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night pounding my head against the wall. I don't understand, not even myself, why we simply cannot stop ourselves from this relentless emotion that is pouring out of our veins. If you want, why can you not receive? It's a mystery in itself, an endless paradox that cannot be solved.
Consider me on board.
